Well, we’ve done it: we’ve walked from one end of England to the other, and the question that is most important--as it has been at other points of this trip--is ‘have I gained or lost weight?’
If you are a 40-year-old male, mostly human, with a bit of a gut, you need to take in the following fuel in order to walk across a country in sixteen days:
· 32 Cumberland sausages
· 16 fried eggs
· 16 fried tomatoes
· .5 kilogram fried mushrooms
· 32 rashers of bacon
· .5 kilogram baked beans
· 3 kilograms deep-fried potato wedges
· 3 kilograms deep-fried haddock
· 3 kilograms sundry pies
· 20 litres ale or cider
· 16 Snickers or Mars bars
· 16 ham and cheese sandwiches
· 16 bags crisps
This all works out to 30, 852 calories. (Go ahead, Malcolm, check my facts.) If you’re a male, mostly human, 40-year-old with a bit of a gut, you burn about 408 calories every hour when you walk vigorously across a country with lots of hilly bits. Cara and I figure that we crossed the country in about 96 hours, so I burned about 39, 168 calories. That means I burned 8, 316 calories more than I consumed.
It takes 3, 500 calories to make a pound of fat, which means that I should have lost 2.376 pounds. You’re not going to believe this, but that is, in fact, just about exactly how much weight I lost. All in all, what my calculations show, is that our cross-country trip was in no way worth the effort: I could lose 2.376 pounds just by snoring slightly more vigorously while I sleep instead of humping my way across boggy hills for sixteen days.
Dipping our boots in the Irish Sea
Lots of lovely bits in between seas
Dipping our boots in the North Sea
Wow, I can't believe you're finished already. It seems like you only just started. Did it bring back pleasant memories? My own memories are fragmentary.
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Yes, it brought back some memories and also gave me a reference for some of the more fragmentary memories I have of our trip. I now know where we were blown around in that gale (knowing now what Striding Ridge looks like, we were very lucky to have been blown back when we were: it's a dangerous ridge even in sunny weather), and I recognized where we were stopped by the police when we walked along the motorway after getting lost. I'm looking forward to revisiting old photos and seeing what I recognize.
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ReplyDeleteI'm impressed. You did it, and your calorie calculations are spot-on, judging from the fact that you have indeed lost nearly 2.4 lbs. I can tell - I spotted you on GoogleEarth.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to MRU this morning to teach some kiddie-widdies how to do magic. Shame I can't pop by for tea!
Well, you could pop by for tea, but it'll look odd, you sitting on my front lawn drinking tea while the tenants wonder who the heck you are and why you're drinking tea on the front lawn. But what the heck; I say 'go for it.'
ReplyDeleteMy knowledge of geography is crap but wouldn't the journey from west to east in the UK been shortest going from the Firth of Clyde to the Firth of Forth? Isn't it about 45 miles? That would have taken less than one day, not 96 hours going through the lake district and Yorkshire. And on the Scottish route, you could have had deep fried Mars bars.
ReplyDeleteLaurel, you are one crazy fit lady if you can walk 45 miles in one day! Even with deep fried Mars bars,45 miles would take me three days!
ReplyDeleteBruce: What can I say. Sounds like a fabulous trip....one I would have done on a horse, of course. Just a question, though,....are you and Cara still a couple? If you've passed the wallpaper test (have you done that one?) and now the walking test, I guess you are (although I notice Cara keeps doing side trips by herself). A rambling tour somewhere in Wales or around the Lakes is on my to-do list....you'll notice I said rambling not walking. I think rambling is a bit like drag hunting (no, not cross dressers on horse but hunting with artificial bait) in that one goes from pub to pub to pub cross country ,and over fences in betwen, of course. Glad you had a fabulous trip. Which country are you off to next? Cheers, Chris H :)
ReplyDeleteYou walked for 96 hours and we only get three pictures. I do hope you are planning a slide show when you return home.
ReplyDeleteAs for snoring more vigorously to lose weight, you did want to keep Cara in your life, right?
When do you head back to Canada? Or, have you decided to stay?
Hey Chris and Joan. Nice to hear from you. Interesting theme, there, the impending divorce (from wallpapering and/or snoring). Nah, I think we'll manage, having survived together for 24 hours a day for nearly a year. We've learned, by the way, that the secret of a good partnership is to hire other people to do the wallpaper.
ReplyDeleteJoan, I'd advise you to think twice about asking to see photos: I have ten thousand of them, and I'm quite willing to duct tape people to chairs to show them off.
Back on the 28th of June. Yeesh, how'd it go so quickly?
Hi Bruce,I felt a sense of obligation, and rightly so to send a comment your way. Good to hear you are eating such healthy 'fare'. Big Macs cower in the shadow of of your list of edibles. Deep down you know that the possibility of a one sided conversation upon your return to SAIT is a fairy tale and at best a myth. it would be a luxury to expect anyone would listen for an extended period of time...the pictures sound awesome. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteMichael
Congrats!!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have remembered and mentioned this earlier. Your food itemization reminded me of this tv series I saw called "The Wild Gourmets," who travelled the UK and eating only off the land - hunting, fishing, etc. So because I only saw a few episodes and don't quite remember the hosts, in my mind you two ARE the couple in that series who did all that! My heroes! Haha!
Maybe I'll try to make my way back to Calgary when you're back. I'd love to see your photos!!!!
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
Bruce, you are allowed to show a maximum of 250 pictures at any one time. You will have to be brutal to get 10,000 down to 250. I look forward to seeing a sample of your pictures when you return home.
ReplyDeleteI, too, look forward to seeing a photo when you get back.
ReplyDeleteJust one.
And it better not be blurry.
Actually, I will quite happily sit through far more than that. With my Scottish islands pics, I managed to get 12,500 down to 300 for slide shows.
With less than a month to go, are you having second thoughts about ever coming back to Canada?
It's still snowing there, I hear. Damn rights I'm having second thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBruce: it was still snowing here (in Calgary) until a couple of days ago. Now it's sunny...and the mosquitoes are out in full force! Hope you're having fun....guess you're packing up and heading for home soon. Chris H
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